Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Murphy's Law -- Gym-Style

Whenever I'm at the gym, this inevitably happens:

I'll put my gym bag in a locker that is five lockers away from any other occupied locker, and when I come back, someone else has put their stuff the locker next to mine and is chirping away with a buddy of theirs, which is awkward because I have to excuse myself so I can wedge my way back into my locker. It's like my locker is a magnet for everyone else who walks into the gym after me.

(Why, people? What's up with the bro-mance at the gym? I go to the gym to work out, not to socialize. Why do you torture me?)

Yesterday may have been the worst instance of this ever. I come back to the locker room and there are two guys, probably in their 50s, shooting the breeze right in front of my locker. I excuse myself so I can get my towel. Then I jump in the shower. It wasn't a long, relax-and-get-all-philosophical-about-life shower, but it also wasn't a hop-in-get-wet-and-hop-back-out shower either. It was definitely 5 or 6 minutes long.

I come back to my stall and the two guys are still there. I excuse myself again to get my clothes, and the first guy looks at me as if I'm inconveniencing him.

But the worst part about it, is what they're talking about, an excerpt of which appears here...

"Well, this gym [I forget the name, but it was somewhere in way upstate New Hampshire, like we're talking near Mount Washington] charges a lot of money, because they're the only gym in 30 miles. It's a total ripoff."

Seriously? Like, you thinking of joining? It's about 2 1/2-3 hours from Worcester to Mount Washington.

If you have to have this conversation, can you fucking move away from my locker so I can get dressed?

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