Saturday, December 27, 2014

NFL Week 17 Predictions

So, with one week left in the 2014 NFL regular season, here's where I stand against the douchebags on CBS' The NFL Today pre-game show:

Phil: 161-79

Bart Scott: 155-85
Bill Cowher: 150-90
Tony Gonzalez: 146-94
Boomer Esiason: 145-95

(I'm counting that tie between the Panthers and Bengals earlier this year as a loss, since I picked the Bengals to win and Cincinnati did not win.)

So, mathematically, the best Esiason can do is tie me (if he gets every pick right tomorrow and I get every pick wrong). Everyone else would have to pretty much school me -- if I go 11-5 or better tomorrow nobody can catch me. After the first two weeks (in which I went a miserable 13-19 and began to question whether I really follow football all that well anymore), I've had 13 winning weeks and one .500 week.

Here's hoping I bring the title home, and that CBS Sports takes notice.

This week's picks:

Ravens 20, Browns 16 -- I would say the Johnny Manziel Experiment gives Cleveland zero chance to win. Then again, the way Joe Flacco played against the Texans last week....

Texans 42, Jaguars 28 -- Houston still has an outside shot at the playoffs. Jacksonville still has an outside shot at the 2015 No. 1 draft pick.

Chiefs 27, Chargers 24 -- Another improbable, clutch road win last Saturday by the Chargers (who control their own destiny for a wild-card berth) virtually assures San Diego will lose this game.

Jets 20, Dolphins 7 -- Jets will win this one for Rex.

Vikings 17, Bears 13 -- Bears acquired Jay Cutler from Broncos several years ago, still have him. Denver now has Peyton Manning. If this is end of the Cutler era in Chicago then holy shit what an epic fail.  

Bills 34, Patriots 20 -- All I'm really looking for in this game is for Jimmy G. to look good in his limited appearance.

Giants 42, Eagles 7 -- Giants could be a scary team next year. This year they were scary for their own fans.

Saints 42, Buccaneers 17 -- Could totally picture New Orleans mailing this one in, except that Tampa Bay is in a dogfight with Tennessee for top overall pick.

Colts 23, Titans 20 -- See above thumbnail, replace "New Orleans," "Tampa Bay" and "Tennessee" with "Indianapolis," "Tennessee" and "Tampa Bay," respectively.

Cowboys 28, Redskins 18 -- Bad midseason loss to Washington virtually eliminates any chance Dallas has of getting home field throughout the NFC playoffs. That said, since for once Cowboys don't have to win their final game of the season to make playoffs, they'll probably kick some ass.

Panthers 21, Falcons 20 -- It's true: someone really has to win this division.

Broncos 34, Raiders 14 -- Thank you, Cincinnati, for that early Christmas present beating the Broncos and clinching AFC home field for New England. Your card is in the mail.

Packers 45, Lions 41 -- This is the Lions team everybody thought Detroit was building three years ago, but I think the Packers slightly better. Then again, Green Bay lost to a Buffalo team that turned around and lost to the Raiders last week....

Seahawks 27, Rams 9 -- St. Louis: beat both of last year's Super Bowl participants (Seattle and Denver), yet still finishes with a losing record. Gotta think that's never happened before in NFL history.

49ers 23, Cardinals 20 -- Jim Harbaugh era in San Francisco can't end with five straight losses, can it?

Bengals 23, Steelers 17 -- I'm 7-8 picking Steelers games this year; I'm willing to bet that's my worst record picking any one team in the NFL in 2014. Kinda feel like the Steelers will win this game, so I'll pick against them and see what happens.

LAST WEEK -- 10-6
SEASON TO DATE -- 161-79

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