Friday, February 8, 2013

Snowzilla vs. The Blog Monster

I'm prepared.

I'm scheduled to be off today and tomorrow from my full-time job, and a rare extension from my part-time box/spy job. So I'm inside.

I did a load of laundry this morning.

I've able to avoid the bedlam at local supermarkets, where fistfights are breaking out over in the express lane. In my fridge I have:

* 13 bottles of water

* 3 bottles of Coca-Cola

* Turkey cold cuts, American and cheddar cheese.

* An extra Burger King Chicken Sandwich (they are currently buy one get one free at The King right now).

I also have cereal, Tostitos, Triscuits, ramen noodles, and Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts and Eggs in the cabinet.

I went out to Wal-Mart and bought new snow boots. The ones I have currently have lasted me for three years, through Halloween and April Fool's Day blizzards, Tropical Storm Irene  and Stormzilla Sandy. That's three years of diverse storms and my boots have finally bowed to the crazy New England weather. They were a great value for $34.87 and I bought the same brand this morning.

I am watching the news on TV and, on the Internet, one of my childhood favorite movies, Gamera vs. Monster X.

There may be power outages, call-ins to work, cars skidding into the house, or some other blizzard craziness. But I'm ready, Snowzilla. Bring the noise.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Super Bowl 47 Predictions

Because of my irritation that the Patriots lost, and life getting in the way, I haven't been paying attention to the endless, two-week buildup to Super Bowl 47. What I do know is that the 49ers and Ravens are both very good teams. I can see this either going either way, with Ray Lewis going out as a champion or with Colin Kapernick putting on a display of excellence and causing a sea change in the way teams try to move the football on offense.

There are, however, a number of great prop bets, over-unders on things that really have nothing to do with the game. I am not in Las Vegas right now, but I'll offer my own book of predictions:

First touchdown: I'm going way outside the box here, even though it probably won't happen, because it's more fun that way, 49ers G Mike Iupati, on a recovery of a Frank Gore fumble in the end zone.  

Number of mentions on CBS about how two brothers are coaching against each other in the Super Bowl:  374

Number of camera shots of 49ers backup quarterback Alex Smith looking moody and disgruntled on the sidelines: 23

Number of tweets about how "The #PuppyBowl is better than the #SuperBowl": 54,312

Number of Super Bowl commercials worth the cost of advertising: 1

Number of Super Bowl commercials that fall flat: 136

Number of consecutive hours Ray Lewis and deer antlers trend on Twitter: 13

Number of times CBS' Jim Nantz utters the phrase "Ray Lewis, playing in his final NFL game": 17

And, oh yeah, before I forget:

49ers 34, Ravens 24.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Me, Sexism, and the California Raisins

My current GMail status update is "books, check 'em out!" after a friend and I reminisced about an old California Raisins commercial from when I was younger.

This is a recent development (i.e., within the past 24 hours) and it wasn't long before someone saw my GMail status and accused me of being sexist, apparently in a fit of dyslexia from substituting a different letter of the alphabet in place of the "k" in books.

I have several thoughts about this.

1) I am not sexist.

2) While there are always exceptions to the rule, books are generally not sexist.

3) In fact, this person is probably more sexist than me.

3) This person has a filthy mind.

4) This person needs to pay more attention when creeping on people's social media statuses.