Thursday, September 1, 2011

Boston Cannons -- 2011 Major League Lacrosse Champions

BOSTON (AP) -- Chaos erupted once again along Comm Ave. as rabid Boston sports fans celebrated the Boston Cannons' first Major League Lacrosse championship.

The Cannons’ 10-9 victory over the Hamilton Nationals in the MLL championship game adds to Boston sports lore and further cements Beantown’s reputation as City of Champions, following in the footsteps of the Boston Bruins, Celtics, Red Sox and New England Patriots. The victory ends an interminable 10-year drought which began when the franchise was founded in 2001.

A phalanx of Boston police officers spent a long and grueling night combating an unruly crowd of six people celebrating the Cannons’ championship in Kenmore Square. A Boston cable access television crew sent an intern with a camera to film the festivities.

The fans chanted, "WE GOT THE CUP," holding up makeshift replicas of the Steinfeld Cup, the MLL’s championship trophy, before switching things up in favor of the more familiar, “Yankees suck!” The group of hooligans then leaned against a parked SUV outside of Eastern Standard, before police threatened them with arrest if they didn’t get off the SUV.

“This is the greatest night of my life,” said 27-year-old Joe Sullivan, a lifelong fan dressed in a Boston Cannons #99 jersey, though he admitted he couldn’t name the player who wears 99 for the Cannons. “This is for my father and my grandfather, for the ghosts of….umm…well…I’m sure the Cannons have been close to winning the championship before.”

An irate Boston mayor Tom Menino lashed out at the height of the craziness.

"What? When did Boston get a pro lacrosse team?" Menino said. When informed that Boston actually has two professional lacrosse teams – the Cannons, who play outdoor lacrosse, and the Boston Blazers, who play in the indoor National Lacrosse League – Menino threw a punch at a reporter. “What a pain in the ass this is. Now we have to organize those damn Duck Boats again.”

The Duck Boat victory parade will be held tomorrow from 12 noon to 12:15 in the Boston Beer Works parking lot.

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