Small Ben

It was a rough offseason for Big Ben Roethlisberger.  Unseemly sexual assault allegations after a little too much partying one night led to a six-game suspension from the NFL (ultimately reduced to four games).  Still, he regrouped himself in time to lead the Steelers to a Super Bowl berth.

I understand the DA's decision not to prosecute him.  I wasn't there that night in Georgia and don't pretend to know what truly happened.  But for better or worse, you need a lot of concrete evidence to generate a sexual assault conviction and it doesn't sound as though there was enough in this case.

That does NOT, however, mean I think Roethlisberger is without blame.  Whether he crossed the line into sexual assault or not, I think it's pretty obvious he acted like a boorish asshole that night.  I've hated the Steelers for years, but even if I didn't, Roethlisberger makes it pretty easy for one to develop a hatred of the Steelers.

Thus, I'm pretty pleased with myself for yesterday's blog, in which I predicted that "I can see the Packer defense dominating and watching Roesthlisberger wear that douchebag look on his face all evening as he throws two or three untimely interceptions."  Indeed, Roethlisberger threw one interception in the first quarter that was run back for a touchdown, and a second in the second quarter that led to a touchdown.

But despite Roethlisberger's asking people to judge him on his actions since his suspension, despite his politeness, addressing former Steelers great QB Terry Bradshaw as "Mr. Bradshaw," I've said all along that the real test of Roethlisberger's resolve will come when he faces adversity.  And, with two minutes to play, the Steelers trailed 31-25 against a Green Bay team that, in the 2009 season, Roethlisberger lit up for a Steeler-record 500-plus yards passing, and led his team down the field under almost exact same circumstances (2 minutes left to play, trailing by six) and threw a touchdown pass as time expired.

(An aside: why in the world did the Fox broadcast team of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman not mention the parallel circumstances between 2009 and last night, ESPECIALLY since they broadcast that game too.  That was a pretty glaring omission by them.)

This time, Roethlisberger led his team to one first down, and then feebly wasted away after a dinky 5-yard pass and three other incompletions.  Game over.  Packers win the Super Bowl.

It's called karma.  I'm sure some of the Packer players are a-holes too.  But nobody wants to see a boor win it all.  It was refreshing to see Big Ben turn into Small Ben when it mattered most.

Super Bowl XLV Prediction

I won't beat around the bush -- I hate both the Steelers and Packers.  I still have some lingering resentment over the Packers win against the Patriots in Super Bowl XXI.  And the Steelers, well, they're just obnoxious.

Alas, this is the matchup for the Super Bowl this year.  I think it should be a good game.  Both teams present matchup problems for each other.

The Packers aren't a great running team, and the Steelers are air-tight against the run.  If the Steelers pass rush can get to Packer QB Aaron Rodgers, it could spell trouble for Green Bay.

On the other hand, the Steelers are banged up.  Center Maurice Pouncey is out.  Taking his place will be Jeff Lagursky, who has four career starts, none at center.  Green Bay has a fearsome pass rush too, and they could be in Ben Roesthlisberger's face all day.  The Packers also have great cover corner who could shut down Hines Ward, Mike Wallace & Co., which would make the Green Bay pass rush that much more effective.

I can see this game going either way.  I can see the Steelers defense dominating, and watching Aaron Rodgers going to the sideline after bloodied and battered after every possession, and I can see the Packer defense dominating and watching Roesthlisberger wear that douchebag look on his face all evening as he throws two or three untimely interceptions.

But I have to pick one.  I hate the Packers less than I hate the Steelers (the fact that the Patriots have won three Super Bowls since their loss to the Packers probably contributes to the pain over Super Bowl XXI abiding to some extent). 

And the Steelers won Super Bowl XL as a #6 seed.  So, it'd be only appropriate if they received payback from the #6-seed Packers.

The last time these two teams played, in 2009, the Steelers won 37-36 when Roethlisberger completed a Steeler-record 500-yard passing day by throwing a TD pass on the final play. It could be just as exciting a finish today.

But with a different result.  Packers 24, Steelers 19

  

24th Follower

Erin is the coolest.  She's always great for a laugh, and she's the best little sister I've ever had.  Figuratively, not literally.  I'm an only child so I don't have any "real" little sisters.  But I did have a dream once that I had a little sister, and the girl in my dream was very similar to Erin -- sense of humor, outgoingness.

She (Erin, not the fictitious little sister in my dream) is also now the 24th "follower" of this blog.  Yay!  Only 76 away from triple-digits!  So now we can keep ourselves motivated to write as we follow each other's blogs.  It's a win-win.

Good News

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about my cousin going into surgery. 

I'm happy to report things seem to have gone very well.  She's on the mend and it'll be nice to have her sharing her wacky stories again.

An Interview with Punxsutawney Phil

I had an opportunity to interview my namesake, Punxsutawney Phil, the Pennsylvania groundhog who’s a rock star every Groundhog Day, via phone last night after his big prediction.

He’s a little difficult.  Here’s the transcript:

Phil: Thanks for your time. 

Punxsutawney Phil: No prob.

Phil: So I understand you did not see your shadow today, which means an “early spring.”  I just looked outside my window and we’re getting snow and ice and sleet today.  Can you clarify for us what constitutes “early spring?”

Punxsutawney Phil: It means "early spring."  What more do you want?

Phil: Can you elaborate?  I mean, “six more weeks of winter” puts the calendar at March 16.  But does “early winter” means that today is the first day of spring, or does it mean spring will begin, say, Feb. 25?

Punxsutawney Phil: Jeez, you and your specifics. 

Phil: I think the people have a right to know. 

Punxsutawney Phil: Fine, spring begins today.

Phil: What constitutes spring anyway?  Here in New England, we usually get one or two snowstorms every spring.  It’s not like snow will end once spring is officially declared.

Punxsutawney Phil: Man, why you gotta be such a ball-buster about this?

Phil: So, according to your Web site, you’ve been doing your predicting for 121 years.  Groundhogs only have a life span of 6 to 10 years.  Care to comment on this?

Punxsutawney Phil: I drink Groundhog Punch.  It’s a top-secret formula.

Phil: Oh, so you’re on steroids? 

Punxsutawney Phil: No comment.

Phil: Maybe there should be an asterisk next to some of your predictions.

Punxsutawney Phil: I don’t know if I like this line of questioning.

Phil: When I spoke with your agent I told him this would be a tough interview.  I’m not here to lob a bunch of softballs at you.

Punxsutawney Phil: I’m gonna have a chat with him.

Phil: According to the Stormfax Weather Almanac, you’ve only been right 39% of the time.  That’s kind of a mediocre record.

Punxsutawney Phil: It’s not like that’s any worse than Pete Bouchard.  Okay, I think I’ve had just about enough of this interview.

Phil: You can’t hide from your record, you know.  If I don’t ask, someone else will.  

Punxsutawney Phil: I’m done. You can go fuck yourself.  (Hangs up.)

Good Story + Good Writer = Good Book

This past weekend an article appeared in The New York Times that wasn't exactly flattering to memoirs.  It reviewed four recently published memoirs, ripped three of them to shreds and was complimentary, if brief, on the fourth.

This has generated a wide range of opinions, everything from "About fucking time somebody comes out and says that memoirs suck!" to "How dare this author say bad things about the genre?" to "The author criticizes memoir as too stereotypical in a review where he stereotypically lumps all memoirs into the same boat." (I like that last comment, actually.) The author invites memoirists to reintroduce themselves to "the lost art of shutting up."

I have to admit I had mixed feelings about the article, which at times made me chuckle and other times made me feel squeamish, as if, "Wow, this guy REALLY needs to get laid."

Here's how I feel --

I believe that the following statement is true: there are some really bad memoirs out there.

I believe it is just as true as the following statements: there are also some really bad novels out there, some really bad screenplays out there, some really bad short story collections out there, some really bad essays  out there, some really bad poems out there and some really bad blogs out there (hopefully few people feel that way about this blog).

But you can't define a genre solely on its bad apples.  There are also some brilliant memoirs, novels, screenplays, short story collections, essays, poems and blogs (hopefully a lot of people feel that way about this blog).

As someone so eloquently stated: "There's always room for a good story from a good writer."  That holds true for all genres.

Yoga

I used to dabble in yoga every once in awhile, but in the past year or two I've gone less and less. Last night I took a yoga class for the first time in awhile.  Getting back into the swing of things was a real experience.

First of all, it was a class of 14 and, of course, I was the only guy. This would make most guys feel like the luckiest man in the world.  Me, I got self-conscious that they all thought I was there to hit on girls.  This awkward feeling was only enhanced when one girl, who happened to be directly in front of me, abruptly walked out during class.

During the warmup, when I first bent into warrior pose, my knees ached.  Great.  Were my knees suddenly shot?  Was my yoga career over before it started?

After a couple minutes though, my knees felt fine and I shook off the kinks.  Nobody else walked out of class. It's a great workout. Like, really great, just as good as cardio, if not better.  My abs are sore this morning, but it's a good sore.  I feel like I might've lost a pound or two yesterday.

I gotta get back into this.