I just want to take this opportunity to thank Sebastian for becoming the 10th "follower" of my blog. It's particularly flattering because, if news of this goes public, Sebastian's country-club membership could be revoked. Now that's devotion.
Hopefully I haven't pissed anybody to the point where they "un-follow" me, because for the past 12 hours I've really enjoyed being in double-digits. What started as an escape from sheer boredom after I got laid off has turned into a national obsession. Okay, maybe it'd be a national obsession if I were in a micronation like Nauru or Liechtenstien, but you know what I'm trying to say. It was flattering when I didn't post something one day, or when I didn't post until the afternoon, and people would e-mail me, "Hey, no blog today?"
So, I appreciate all the support. Thanks to everyone. And spread the word so that, hopefully, soon I'll have 10 more.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Who Wants to be Part of the Worst Audience Ever?
So yesterday was my annual pilgrimmage to New York City to attend a taping of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire." I was up at 3:30 a.m. so I could catch the 5:45 Acela train out of Providence. New York was a fun time; I only got almost-hit by a taxicab twice.
The taping was fun, too, though I was part of the worst audience ever. We saw three episodes, over that time we were called on by a contenstant seven times. Three of those seven times we got the answer wrong, including one time when 62% of us voted for the wrong answer. It got so bad that, toward the end of the taping, on a question when 67% of us voted for an answer, the contestant actually went against us and picked an alternate choice -- so, of course, that time we were right. Nothing's sadder than watching a "Millionaire" contestant who sabotaged herself make the sad walk off-stage.
Now I'm stressed, though. When you go to a taping they give you test, and if you pass the test you're eligible to be a contestant. I passed. After the taping, I was interviewed by the show's staff, so my performance in that interview will be the key. I was pretty zonked after being up for 12 hours and taking the train down to NYC, so I don't know how vibrant I sounded.
I'm also scared that, if I do go on the show, I'll get an easy answer wrong and embarass myself on national TV. This absolutely terrifies me.
The taping was fun, too, though I was part of the worst audience ever. We saw three episodes, over that time we were called on by a contenstant seven times. Three of those seven times we got the answer wrong, including one time when 62% of us voted for the wrong answer. It got so bad that, toward the end of the taping, on a question when 67% of us voted for an answer, the contestant actually went against us and picked an alternate choice -- so, of course, that time we were right. Nothing's sadder than watching a "Millionaire" contestant who sabotaged herself make the sad walk off-stage.
Now I'm stressed, though. When you go to a taping they give you test, and if you pass the test you're eligible to be a contestant. I passed. After the taping, I was interviewed by the show's staff, so my performance in that interview will be the key. I was pretty zonked after being up for 12 hours and taking the train down to NYC, so I don't know how vibrant I sounded.
I'm also scared that, if I do go on the show, I'll get an easy answer wrong and embarass myself on national TV. This absolutely terrifies me.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Mini-blog
No time to write today, other than to say, Tuesday night TV sucks. See tomorrow.
See ya tomorrow.
See ya tomorrow.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Master of the Obvious
One of the fun parts of watching sports on TV is listening to the announcers. Sometimes they can be funny, sometimes they can be dumb, which is even funnier.
Exhibit A: Tonight's (actually, it's last night's now) Patriots-Dolphins game.
Best comment: after the Pats blocked a punt and returned a kickoff and blocked field goal for a touchdown, the Dolphins faced a fourth-and-two on their own 45. Mike Tirico said, "If I'm Miami I'm scared to put my special teams on the field."
Worst comment: after the Patriots blocked the punt, Jon Gruden pointed out that the Miami also had a punt blocked last week against the Jets and twice in the preseason. Then there was a pause. I expected Gruden, a former Super Bowl-winning coach, to come up with am insightful comment on how teams have exploited a weakness on the right side of the Dolphin line, or the up-back's blocking technique is terrible, or the punter takes four steps instead of three before booting the ball away.
Instead, Gruden said, "The Dolphins are really having a problem with their punt-protect team."
Really, Jon? Ya think so?
This is why we need color commentators, for the crucial insight we can't figure out just watching alone.
Exhibit A: Tonight's (actually, it's last night's now) Patriots-Dolphins game.
Best comment: after the Pats blocked a punt and returned a kickoff and blocked field goal for a touchdown, the Dolphins faced a fourth-and-two on their own 45. Mike Tirico said, "If I'm Miami I'm scared to put my special teams on the field."
Worst comment: after the Patriots blocked the punt, Jon Gruden pointed out that the Miami also had a punt blocked last week against the Jets and twice in the preseason. Then there was a pause. I expected Gruden, a former Super Bowl-winning coach, to come up with am insightful comment on how teams have exploited a weakness on the right side of the Dolphin line, or the up-back's blocking technique is terrible, or the punter takes four steps instead of three before booting the ball away.
Instead, Gruden said, "The Dolphins are really having a problem with their punt-protect team."
Really, Jon? Ya think so?
This is why we need color commentators, for the crucial insight we can't figure out just watching alone.
Two Weeks' Notice
I've been told (by a shameless self-promoter) that I don't promote myself enough.
My efforts to try to reverse that begin now: On Oct. 20, I will be reading at "Inspired Voices: Fairfield MFA Student Reading" at the Borders on Post Road in Fairfield, Conn. I'll be reading from my novel-in-progress. This is, of course, assuming that I find the Borders, since I've never been there before. But I figure if I give people a couple weeks' notice, they might be more like to clear their schedule.
Now I have to figure out what excerpt to read.
Apologies to those who think I already talk about myself too much.
My efforts to try to reverse that begin now: On Oct. 20, I will be reading at "Inspired Voices: Fairfield MFA Student Reading" at the Borders on Post Road in Fairfield, Conn. I'll be reading from my novel-in-progress. This is, of course, assuming that I find the Borders, since I've never been there before. But I figure if I give people a couple weeks' notice, they might be more like to clear their schedule.
Now I have to figure out what excerpt to read.
Apologies to those who think I already talk about myself too much.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Don't Ask Someone Who's Never Heard of Dr. Pepper Cake Where The Cake Is
Just got home from a birthday party for one of my writer's group friends. Great time. (I mean, if it's 2:30 a.m. and you're just getting home, either your car broke down or that's a pretty good endorsement.)
The only downside happened early in the night. One of the big highlights of the night was the Dr. Pepper birthday cake. I asked someone (who shall remain nameless) if those "things over there on toothpicks" were slivers of the cake. This person said yes. I grabbed one and started to eat it. Emphasis on started, because it was actually some hideous vegetable thing that I had to run to the bathroom to spit out, which probably made my friend's roommates think I have the manners of a pig -- which I often do, but I try to hide this outside of my circle of friends.
I know, I know, it was stupid of me to think something on toothpicks was a slice of Dr. Pepper cake. But it was black and shiny (which I thought was the frosting), so at the moment it made sense. The person I asked had never heard of Dr. Pepper cake until the party started and really was in no position to know what the cake would look like either.
Lesson learned.
The only downside happened early in the night. One of the big highlights of the night was the Dr. Pepper birthday cake. I asked someone (who shall remain nameless) if those "things over there on toothpicks" were slivers of the cake. This person said yes. I grabbed one and started to eat it. Emphasis on started, because it was actually some hideous vegetable thing that I had to run to the bathroom to spit out, which probably made my friend's roommates think I have the manners of a pig -- which I often do, but I try to hide this outside of my circle of friends.
I know, I know, it was stupid of me to think something on toothpicks was a slice of Dr. Pepper cake. But it was black and shiny (which I thought was the frosting), so at the moment it made sense. The person I asked had never heard of Dr. Pepper cake until the party started and really was in no position to know what the cake would look like either.
Lesson learned.
Friday, October 1, 2010
If Jasmine Can Get Published, So Can I
Sometimes, when I sit here in front of my laptop, I wonder what word choices other fiction writers would make. Tonight, I learned the answer.
On The Tonight Show's "JayWalking" segment, Jay Leno asked a self-described fiction writer named Jasmine what it means to go Dutch. She responded it means to "go steady," then when informed that was wrong, her second answer was "to write books with someone else." Later in the segment, she said coitus interruptus means "interrupting someone when they're being coy."
There are times I feel I'm crazy to write a novel, because the chances of my getting published are slim to none. And then there are times like tonight, when I convince myself that if Jasmine the Fiction Writer can get published, so can I.
On The Tonight Show's "JayWalking" segment, Jay Leno asked a self-described fiction writer named Jasmine what it means to go Dutch. She responded it means to "go steady," then when informed that was wrong, her second answer was "to write books with someone else." Later in the segment, she said coitus interruptus means "interrupting someone when they're being coy."
There are times I feel I'm crazy to write a novel, because the chances of my getting published are slim to none. And then there are times like tonight, when I convince myself that if Jasmine the Fiction Writer can get published, so can I.
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