Memo To Baseball Fans Everywhere

Yesterday was Opening Day for some teams, with the remaining Major League Baseball teams opening today.

Football is my favorite sport, but baseball has always been a close second. One of the things I don't like about baseball, however, is the fans' sense of humor. It's not that baseball fans don't have a sense of humor. It's that they have a tired and shop-worn sense of humor.

This is particularly problematic around Opening Day, when hope springs eternal and everybody's passion is at its highest, and it comes out in bad jokes and, in this day and age, social networking posts such as the one below...

<<In honor of [your team's] Opening Day, put this as your status if you know someone who suffers from being a [your team's rival] fan. Being a [your team's rival] fan is a real disorder and should be taken seriously. There is still no known cure for being a [your team's rival] fan and sympathy does not help, but we can raise awareness. 100% of [your team's] fans will repost this...simply because we know how to copy and paste, as well as tie our shoes and win.>>

Here's another one...

<<..A [your team] fan, a [neutral third team] fan, & a [your team's rival] fan are climbing a mountain & arguing about who loves his team more. The [neutral third team] fan insists he is the most loyal. ''This is for the [neutral third team]', he yells, & jumps off the mountain. Not to be outdone, the [your team] fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells "This is for the [your team]!!!" & pushes the [your team's rival] fan off the mountain. (Repost if you're a [your team] fan!!)>>

 This is followed by hoots and hollers and thumbs-ups and Re-Tweets, as if this joke came fresh out of last night's opening monologue from Jay Leno or some other comic genius who, luckily, just happens to be a fan of their team!

Which is silly. These are the same tired one-liners I've been hearing since I was in grade school. And anybody with half a brain can tailor these jokes as they wish, cutting and pasting their hated rivals into the punchline, as I just proved above. I've seen the above posts tailored toward both Red Sox and Yankee fans, depending on where the poster's rooting interests lie, and I'm sure in other parts of the country Cubs and Cardinals fans, Dodgers and Giants fans, and fans of every other baseball team do the same thing.

 It's old. It's boring. It's lazy. Can someone at least think of something a little more original?

I mean, come on, everybody knows Red Sox and Yankee fans would never go mountain-climbing together.