Tuesday, March 8, 2011

As Bad As It Gets

Here's how bad it's gotten for me:

Charlie Sheen is writing poetry.

Snooki from Jersey Shore has published a novel.

And I'm still trying to finish my novel.

So using the logic of rock-paper-scissors, I'm a lesser writer than Charlie Sheen or Snooki.


  1. From the gothamist.com:

    If you want to dip into the dark recesses of Snooki's mind, Jezebel posted a disturbing date rape passage earlier, which declares: "This girl was putting up a fight. Most whores would just give in at this point and accept the situation they were in. If she ate the dinner, took the gifts, came home with you, she was obliged to put out. If she changed her mind and didn't want to? Too bad. Things might get a little rough. She deserved what happened." Ghostwriter Frankel has said that part was added to give the book "some depth."

    C'mon, Phil. None of us can compete with that. We might as well quit and just cut our losses, along with our MFA checks.

  2. Well, I think you left a few other things out:

    You are also a lesser consumer of drugs and booze (Charlie Sheen), tanning products and hairspray (Snooki). Focus on getting those numbers up and the poetry/novel will come spilling out of you like...drugs, booze and hairspray.