Monday evening around 7 my cable went out. Bad timing (90 minutes before the biggest Patriots game of the year, but not insurmountable. I called up my friend Mark, who generously allowed me to watch the Patriots game over at his house. However, when I got home Tuesday morning at 1 it was still out. I called Charter and the automated response said there was a high-wind-related outage in my area and the cable company would call me when the problem was fixed.
I woke up a few hours later and the cable was still out. I call Charter again -- five times. And promptly get disconnected each time. Encouraging. I've said it before but it bears repeating -- Charter is the bastard child of cable companies. When I had Comcast I had lousy customer service and questionable bills, but at least I knew I'd have cable service 24/7.
This cable outage is a serious problem. Because Tuesday night at 8 is the holiday event of the year -- A Charlie Brown Christmas -- and I can't not watch it. (After Mark allowed me to come over Monday for the Pats game, I think asking to come over again Tuesday to watch Charlie Brown might've been pushing it a little). By now I'm panicking something fierce, the way Charlie Brown was when he was trying to direct the Christmas play. Charter is about to ruin Christmas! I'm thinking about calling the Massachusetts Attorney General's office, but Martha Coakley ran such a lousy campaign for Senate earlier this year I can't imagine she'll be very proactive about this.
I try calling Charter back at noon. I finally get through to a live person. I explain the situation. She says the outage from Monday night should be fixed, and I should try to unplug the cable box, wait 30 second and replug it. I do so. It's still not working. She tells me they can't figure out the problem and will have to have a live person come to my place to fix the problem -- Wednesday. After A Charlie Brown Christmas.
This is no good. I give the lady a Linus-esque lecture about the true meaning of Christmas. I mean, everyone knows the true meaning of Christmas is being able to watch Linus lecture everybody about the true meaning of Christmas. As I'm lecturing her, voila, the cable magically comes back on.
Christmas is saved! I'm glad I didn't let all this commercialism get me down. I guess now we truly know what Christmas is all about. Now I need to go find myself a Charlie Brown tree. (Yes, they still make wooden Christmas tees.)