Thursday, November 22, 2012

Traffic Stop 2, Small Town Boogaloo

Blogger's note: I know it's Thanksgiving today, but because the following happened to me the other day and in the interest of switching things up a bit, I'll do the "What I'm thankful for" blog tomorrow.

I'm right on time for work and, wouldn't you know it, I get behind a car with Georgia license plates, whose driver clearly has no clue where he/she is going, going at a rate of speed comparable to a snail in quicksand. This person begins to veer to the breakdown lane, but not enough for me to pass safely. So I'm slogging along behind, tapping my fingers on the steering wheel.

I look behind me and a cop has his lights flashing. Must be an emergency. Finally this car in front of me will pull over and I can pass.

You can imagine my horror when the cop pulls in behind me. License and registration, blah blah blah.

"Do you know why I pulled you over?" he asks.

"Honestly, no," I say.

"You were tailgating the driver in front of you." He looks pissed, like I ruined his day. For most cops, an armed robbery or triple-homicide ruins their day. "Also," he continues, "you were weaving back and forth." Clearly he has me confused with the jerkbone in front of me.

"I didn't realize that," I say. What I really want to say is, "Clearly you have me confused with the jerkbone in front of me," but I'm told that sarcasm isn't a good attitude to take with the police.

Great. I'm going to be late for work now. I am the king of bizarre traffic stops. Don't the cops have other things to do with their time, like stop an armed robbery?

In what appears to be a show of mercy, he takes my license and registration and brings it back to his cruiser and, within 15 seconds, returns. "Don't tailgate other drivers," he says and returns my stuff, ticket-free. I can get to work on time.

That's life working in a small town -- where tailgating slow drivers is a capital offense.



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