Things I Learned At Residency

1) Always pack an extra floss dispenser.  On my first day, I pulled an inch of floss from the dispenser and discovered that was all it had left.

2) Come to terms with not being able to blog regularly.  Even when you bring your laptop, or have friends who generously offer to let you borrow their laptop, there are only 24 hours in the day.  When your schedule is jam-packed with breakfast, graduate student seminars, workshop, lunch, faculty seminars, graduate student readings, undergraduate student readings, dinner, faculty readings, book signings, talent shows and socializing in The Drinking Room, there isn't a lot of time to blog.  I was lucky to be able to update my Facebook status four times and blog twice.  I apologize to my readers, and I hope you understand.

3) Pace yourself.  It's a marathon, not a sprint.  If you drink too fast you'll feel it the next morning.  Nobody's keeping track of how many Vodka & Cokes you're drinking -- they're drinking just as much and after 17 adult beverages, they're too drunk to count to double-digits.

4) Keep your faculty intros short.  If you introduce a faculty member, and your intro is 60 seconds or less and features one moderately funny joke, the folks who are stuck sitting in the uncomfortable pews during faculty reading hour will love you for it.

5) There is life off-island.  The Harp and Hound in Mystic is a great place to have a pint of Guinness and watch English Premier League soccer.

6) Saying good-bye sucks.  The break between the winter and summer residencies (6 1/2 months) is considerably longer than the one between summer and winter (5 months).  Everyone is an emotional zombie on the last day of residency.  I'm trying to get involved in two more writer's groups (which would double the number of writer's groups I'm in).  It'd be worth it, not just to force myself to write more, but to see everybody more often.