OK, one moment of gloating. Not only did I go 14-1 in last week's picks, I also picked the exact score of Monday night's Seahawks-Redskins game.
Suck it, Bill Cowher.
Not only that, but the Detroit Lions were so pissed that they were the only team I picked incorrectly to win -- largely because kicker Alex Henery missed three field goals -- that they cut Henery on Monday.
Here's the bad news: it's all downhill from here. I can't possibly go 14-1 every week, or (most likely) ever again. But hey, you can't blame me for trying:
Colts 38, Texans 20 -- At some point this season, there has to be a Thursday night game that won't have a margin of victory of 20 points or more. This is the week. Indy wins by a razor-thin 18.
Patriots 14, Bills 3 -- This is one of those games that could go either way and last week everything broke right for me on those games. The new, Angry Patriots vs. the new, Kyle Orton Bills. My heart says go with the Pats. DISCLAIMER: my heart was wrong about my high school and college crushes.
Bengals 17, Panthers 14 -- The Bengals can't be subjected to two ass-whoopings in a row, right? "Sure they can," says a team that lost to two AFC North opponents by a combined 75-29 in back-to-back weeks.
Steelers 51, Browns 35 -- No doubt Browns are an improved team, and Pittsburgh has sleepwalked through its last two games against inferior opponents. But....I just can't quite pull the trigger on calling the upset in this matchup yet. Plus, Johnny Manziel's way overdue to slip something in Brian Hoyer's Gatorade.
Packers 23, Dolphins 20 -- Green Bay gets the edge because, if they go to a spelling bee to break the tie, Aaron Rodgers has it wrapped up.
Lions 24, Vikings 20 -- Giving the Lions 24 points is a gutsy call. It means that, in all likelihood, somewhere along the line they get a field goal.
Broncos 24, Jets 20 -- Rex Ryan may be slowly fading into the twilight of his New York Jets coaching career, but he's not going to go down without a fight. Unless he lost a lot of muscle with all the fat.
Ravens 25, Buccaneers 0 -- Tampa Bay was hoping to upset another AFC contender. Unfortunately, Lovie Smith used up all his lifelines already.
Jaguars 30, Titans 3 -- Recurring segments on ESPN's Monday Night Countdown: C'mon Man!; Teams at 20; The Jake Locker Injury Report.
Chargers 28, Raiders 14 -- This is the kind of game the Chargers of the past were spoiling to blow. Based on early returns, I believe San Diego has turned the corner and is a legit contender. So of course, the Chargers will blow this one.
Cardinals 38, Redskins 14 -- If Subway's meals are so healthy, why do they have a spokesman (RGIII) who's always hurt?
Falcons 22, Bears 20 -- Two potent but turnover-prone offenses, two bad defenses. I've never seen these two teams at the same time. This is the kind of game that deserves to end in a tie.
Seahawks 27, Cowboys 0 -- Well, this suddenly looks like a good game now, doesn't it? And Dallas' newfound commitment to the running game is just the sort of thing that could cause problems for Seattle. Still....Tony Romo. I....just....can't.
Giants 24, Eagles 13 -- Giants' offense: streaking. Eagles' offense: sputtering. So of course I go with the current trends and will probably get burned.
49ers 27, Rams 10 -- Imagine if the Rams weren't stuck playing in a division with three legit contenders? Yeah, you're right, they'd still suck.
LAST WEEK: 14-1
SEASON TO DATE: 46-30