Conan O'Brien returns tonight at 11. I wish him well. This whole debacle was NBC's fault. Why would you pick the Tonight Show successor five years in advance? That's like the Patriots announcing that they've locked Brian Hoyer in as their starting quarterback in 2015. Jay gets pushed out, his ratings sag, Conan ends up being a disaster at 11:35, NBC realizes the mistake and fires Conan, brings back Jay, Conan and Jay start to hate each other, etc. etc. What a mess.
Personally, I think Conan is more 12:35 funny than 11:35 funny. He's got that offbeat humor that plays better when you're about to go to bed, and you can make the decision about whether to stay up the extra five minutes for In The Year 3000 or Celebrity Survey, or go to bed a little earlier because Conan's dumber skits (The Masturbating Bear, The Interruptor) are on.
I hope NBC learns from this debacle, though I doubt it, based on their interminable Sunday night pre-game show.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
This Daylight/Standard Time Thing Is Trippy
So I'm doing some writing and watching the end of USC-Arizona State college football. It's 1:57 and I'm thinking maybe I should go to bed soon.
Then I look at my computer clock again, and it's 1:01. Holy shit! I just realized, today was the day we turn back the clocks.
Man, this is groovy. It's almost like being on drugs, without the negative side effects.
Then I look at my computer clock again, and it's 1:01. Holy shit! I just realized, today was the day we turn back the clocks.
Man, this is groovy. It's almost like being on drugs, without the negative side effects.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Writer's Block
I've been blocked all week. And it's maddening. It's not that I can't think of anything to write about, it's that I have too much to write about. I've been working on my novel, trying to get another 25 pages written for my mentor, and ideas for other novels keep popping into my head. I usually have some pretty good tricks to stop writer's block in its tracks, but this is the first time I've had to deal with so many ideas rolling through my head. I think my head might explode.
I wish I could tell myself to go one at a time.
Anyway, now that I've gotten this off my chest, the current novel is starting to come into sharper focus again, so I'm gonna make this a short blog. See ya tomorrow.
I wish I could tell myself to go one at a time.
Anyway, now that I've gotten this off my chest, the current novel is starting to come into sharper focus again, so I'm gonna make this a short blog. See ya tomorrow.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Ummm, Never Mind
Yeah, remember when I said I was screwed if I got into an accident during my trip to Connecticut?
From a few hours ago:
Me: "Hi, my AAA membership expired and I need to renew."
Customer Service Rep: "Can you give me your number."
(I proceed to do this.)
Customer Service Rep: "Sir, your membership was renewed two months ago."
Me: "Really?"
Customer Service Rep: "Have you not received your new card?"
Me: "No."
Customer Service Rep: "We'll send another one right out to you."
So I hang up, and the first thing I see when I look over at my tablestand is my new AAA card, with a September '11 expiration date. This writing gig is ruining my memory.
From a few hours ago:
Me: "Hi, my AAA membership expired and I need to renew."
Customer Service Rep: "Can you give me your number."
(I proceed to do this.)
Customer Service Rep: "Sir, your membership was renewed two months ago."
Me: "Really?"
Customer Service Rep: "Have you not received your new card?"
Me: "No."
Customer Service Rep: "We'll send another one right out to you."
So I hang up, and the first thing I see when I look over at my tablestand is my new AAA card, with a September '11 expiration date. This writing gig is ruining my memory.
Expired
Yesterday I drove down to Fairfield to register for classes for the winter residency in my MFA program. The process, which is usually a pain in the ass because of financial aid and the relative obscurity the FUMFA program holds among the university at large, was actually surprisingly smooth. Then I went over to Mother Hastings' office to drop off my Enders Island deposit. So everything is all set. And I figured, since I was down there, why not go to a reading from writers extraordinaire (and Fairfield faculty) Lary Bloom and Nalini Jones?
After the reading we gathered and socialized, something writers tend to do. I received some generous offers from fellow FUMFAers who live in the Fairfield area to stay overnight, but I felt it was better to drive home. I'm a night person, and it's easier for me to stay up late and drive home and not have to fight traffic then to wake up early and be a zombie for the first two or three hours of my day while fighting traffic.
So I'm about to enter the on-ramp for the Mass Turnpike when I'm fumbling through my wallet for some change. Some things falls out, one of which is my AAA card, which I realize expired in September.
It's a good thing I didn't know about this earlier in the day. The last thing I needed is to be stressed out about getting into an accident, having a flat tire or needing a tow while driving all over Connecticut.
That's a wrap. Now I gotta go call AAA and renew my membership.
After the reading we gathered and socialized, something writers tend to do. I received some generous offers from fellow FUMFAers who live in the Fairfield area to stay overnight, but I felt it was better to drive home. I'm a night person, and it's easier for me to stay up late and drive home and not have to fight traffic then to wake up early and be a zombie for the first two or three hours of my day while fighting traffic.
So I'm about to enter the on-ramp for the Mass Turnpike when I'm fumbling through my wallet for some change. Some things falls out, one of which is my AAA card, which I realize expired in September.
It's a good thing I didn't know about this earlier in the day. The last thing I needed is to be stressed out about getting into an accident, having a flat tire or needing a tow while driving all over Connecticut.
That's a wrap. Now I gotta go call AAA and renew my membership.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Happy Freakin' Election Day
Here we go again. Another election has come and gone, and once again we have change. Something tells me going forward, Republicans and Democrats will take turns gaining and losing power in Washington every two years.
It's disillusioning when both major political parties suck. We have a new movement, the Tea Party, that claims to support fiscal responsibility. Great. I'm all for fiscal responsibility. The thing that pisses me off about the Democrats is that they spend too much public money (not that the Republicans don't waste their share; it's pretty fucking expensive to roll tanks into another country). Where I diverge from the Tea Party is when they expend their energy talking not about fiscal responsibility but about evolution, witchcraft and masturbation. The new Tea Party perverts the original, quite noble Tea Party of our Founding Fathers, who didn't give a shit about whether you masturbated in your private time; they just wanted to end the tyranny of the British Empire and gain their own sovereignty.
Two years ago, the Dems talked about reducing the deficit when they regained control of Congress and the presidency. Yet they refuse to address the major cause of out national debt, a bloated entitlement system in Social Security and Medicare that is basically a trillion-dollar Ponzi scheme. And the Dems have a Congressman, Barney Frank, who spewed out the most classless acceptance speech I've ever heard after Sean Bielat had the gall to contest his seat. Trust me, there's a lot I don't agree with Bielat on, but tonight doesn't give me confidence that Frank will be very conciliatory in Congress.
In my Congressional district, rather than choose between a Democrat who refuses to acknowledge that Social Security is bankrupting America or a Republican who wants to build a fence on the border with Mexico (cuz, you know, that'd be a wise use of taxpayer money. It's not like people would tunnel under the fence or anything), I ended up voting for an independent candidate. Sure, he only got 4.5% of the vote, but I'll be able to sleep with a clean conscience tonight.
Americans like divided government for a reason. I can only hope that, going forward, Democrats and Republicans will political parties will smarten up and work for the United States, not their own selfish interests.
Alas, I'm not optimistic. We get the government we deserve.
It's disillusioning when both major political parties suck. We have a new movement, the Tea Party, that claims to support fiscal responsibility. Great. I'm all for fiscal responsibility. The thing that pisses me off about the Democrats is that they spend too much public money (not that the Republicans don't waste their share; it's pretty fucking expensive to roll tanks into another country). Where I diverge from the Tea Party is when they expend their energy talking not about fiscal responsibility but about evolution, witchcraft and masturbation. The new Tea Party perverts the original, quite noble Tea Party of our Founding Fathers, who didn't give a shit about whether you masturbated in your private time; they just wanted to end the tyranny of the British Empire and gain their own sovereignty.
Two years ago, the Dems talked about reducing the deficit when they regained control of Congress and the presidency. Yet they refuse to address the major cause of out national debt, a bloated entitlement system in Social Security and Medicare that is basically a trillion-dollar Ponzi scheme. And the Dems have a Congressman, Barney Frank, who spewed out the most classless acceptance speech I've ever heard after Sean Bielat had the gall to contest his seat. Trust me, there's a lot I don't agree with Bielat on, but tonight doesn't give me confidence that Frank will be very conciliatory in Congress.
In my Congressional district, rather than choose between a Democrat who refuses to acknowledge that Social Security is bankrupting America or a Republican who wants to build a fence on the border with Mexico (cuz, you know, that'd be a wise use of taxpayer money. It's not like people would tunnel under the fence or anything), I ended up voting for an independent candidate. Sure, he only got 4.5% of the vote, but I'll be able to sleep with a clean conscience tonight.
Americans like divided government for a reason. I can only hope that, going forward, Democrats and Republicans will political parties will smarten up and work for the United States, not their own selfish interests.
Alas, I'm not optimistic. We get the government we deserve.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Phil's Bibliography
Yep. I really was published today. That was a quick turnaround. My latest short story to be unleashed on the masses is here.
Some have told me that I should post links to my other two published short stories. So, in the spirit of Election Day, here's my first published short story, my take on an election gone awry, and my second, a poignant tale of the friendship between a man and a Velociraptor. (For this one I've enclosed the entire edition of the CRR. My story begins on p. 39.)
Hope you enjoy.
Some have told me that I should post links to my other two published short stories. So, in the spirit of Election Day, here's my first published short story, my take on an election gone awry, and my second, a poignant tale of the friendship between a man and a Velociraptor. (For this one I've enclosed the entire edition of the CRR. My story begins on p. 39.)
Hope you enjoy.
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