Thursday, November 5, 2015

NFL Week 9 Predictions: Bugged Locker Room Edition

Getting back into the swing of things – since Week 2 I’m now 58-29 (.667) in my picks. And I don’t even have the help of the Patriots’ secret listening devices.

This week's picks:

Cincinnati 29, Cleveland 26 – That Browns fan judge from those NFL Network commercials should have all her rulings overturned on appeal.

Buffalo 30, Miami 24 – Rex Ryan has a habit of trolling the other team in naming his pre-game captains. He should troll the Dolphins by naming as captain the early-season Bills team that was actually kinda good.

Green Bay 38, Carolina 17 – Are we sure that was Aaron Rodgers last Sunday night vs. Denver and not a 157-year-old Brett Favre sneaking out of retirement?


St. Louis 23, Minnesota 21 – The Vikings are now one game behind Green Bay for first place in the NFC North. Imagine if they hadn’t laid an egg on Opening Night vs. San Francisco?


New England 52, Washington 7 – Overheard in the Redskins locker room, courtesy of Patriots’ listening devices: “Can you believe we’re still in the thick of things in the NFC East? What a joke this division is!”


New Orleans 23, Tennessee 10 – Dolphins: fire head coach, beat the crap out of Tennessee the following week. Titans: fire head coach, still suck the following week.


N.Y. Jets 24, Jacksonville 22 – NFL Network show host: “Can Blake Bortles do to the Jets what Derek Carr did to them last week?” Commentator: “Probably not.” Well, then….


Pittsburgh, 20, Oakland 13 – Steelers: 2-2 with Ben Roethlisberger, 2-2 without. Hmmm….


Atlanta 20, San Francisco 16 – Atlanta: 6-2, would be 3-5 if their schedule wasn’t loaded up with Division II football teams.

N.Y. Giants 22, Tampa Bay 20 – I rarely agree with Roger Goodell, but I think his decision to reject the Buccaneers’ petition to realign to the NFC East was sound.

Denver 55, Indianapolis 23 – This game could determine whether Chuck Pagano stays on as head coach. You know what that means….more fake punts!


Philadelphia 20, Dallas 16 – After Tony Romo went down, I feel like Cowboys would’ve been better served if they had gone with Artsy Craftsy Tony Romo at QB.


San Diego 20, Chicago 7 – Can they start flexing Monday night games too?



2015: 71-48

2014 THROUGH WEEK 8: 77-44


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