Thursday, October 22, 2015

2015 NFL Week 7 Predictions: Swinging Gate Edition

Mediocre week (7-7). That said, Patriots beat the Colts, thanks partially to the Colts running that silly swinging gate fake punt play. So I'm happy:


This week's picks:




Seattle 15, San Francisco 6 -- I rarely agree with Roger Goodell, but I think the NFL commissioner made the right call when he rejected Fred Jackson's request to determine the winner of this matchup by drag racing outside Seahawks' team headquarters.


Buffalo 17, Jacksonville 16 -- Me: "Great. ANOTHER London NFL game?" Friend: "I don't think any game involving the Jaguars constitutes an NFL game."


Minnesota 20, Detroit 7 -- Megatron: "I once understood catch rule, now I don't." Matthew Stafford: "I once understood how to play quarterback, now I don't."


New Orleans 62, Indianapolis 7 -- On this week's episode of The Middle, someone says, "Someone must have a pretty good reason not to watch the Colts." That fake punt play seems like a pretty damn good reason to me.


Pittsburgh 27, Kansas City 3 -- Remember when the Chiefs were a defensive stop vs. Peyton Manning away from starting 2-0?


Houston 29, Miami 28 -- 2015 Texans preview: "WATT! WILFORK!!! CLOWNEY!!! BADASS DEFENSE!!!!!" 2015 Dolphins preview: SUH! WAKE!!!! BADASS DEFENSE!!!!!" Everyone in October 2015: Oversold?


New England 27, N.Y. Jets 25 -- Revis Island, moving from New England to New York, proving the theory of continental drift.


St. Louis 34, Cleveland 3 -- FACT: When founded in the 1930s, Rams were based in Cleveland as a franchise in a rival football league, then applied to join the NFL. FACT: Browns currently based in Cleveland, still applying to join NFL.


Atlanta 23, Tennessee 13 -- Last time these two teams played, four years ago, was Jake Locker's NFL regular-season debut with Titans. Locker is now retired. Marcus Mariota's preseason NFL debut was in August against Falcons. Ominous sign?


Washington 32, Tampa Bay 28 -- While the NFL is at it, make these two teams play in London, too.


San Diego 24, Oakland 9 -- In one of about three different scenarios to bring NFL football back to Los Angeles, these two teams would share a stadium to be built outside LA. Heck, you could merge these two teams and they'd still find a way to miss the playoffs.


N.Y. Giants 31, Dallas 21 -- Giants, struggling for consistency, promise that if they lose this game, they'll suck in all four quarters instead of blowing it at the end.


Carolina 30, Philadelphia 8 -- Big Eagles win Monday night means Chip Kelly gets a one-week reprieve from me poking fun at him.


Arizona 30, Baltimore 27 -- I don't care of the Ravens have played back-to-back games out West, John Harbaugh's excuse for Baltimore's poor play ("Yeah, but it's a dry offense.") is lame.




LAST WEEK: 7-7


2015: 52-39


2014 THROUGH WEEK 6: 55-36










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