NFL Week 3 Predictions

I did slightly better last week -- 7-9. I'm 13-19 overall after two weeks. Hey, it's better than the Oakland Raiders' record over the past two years.


Here are my picks for Week 3:


Atlanta 31, Tampa Bay 10 -- The NFC South is shaping up to be a bad division. In fact, it's only three weeks into the season but if the Buccanneers win Thursday, I'm pretty sure Carolina clinches the division title.


Buffalo 27, San Diego 19 -- I have a tough time envisioning the Bills at 3-0. However, getting that huge win over the Super Bowl Champion Seahawks last week virtually assures that the schizophrenic Chargers will lose this game.  


Cincinnati 20, Tennessee 13 -- I've received complaints that I'm too tough on Andy Dalton, so I'll take a week off from piling on to say...wow, Jake Locker is one mediocre quarterback.


Cleveland 24, Baltimore 17 -- One of two scenarios is true: either the Browns are not as bad as usual, or the New Orleans Saints are among the most overrated teams in NFL history.


Green Bay 37, Detroit 31 -- Winner of the Most Likely To Resemble a Street Football Game award.


Indianapolis 21, Jacksonville 14 -- The Colts can't start 0-3, right?


New England 38, Oakland 23 -- Belichick's done it again. He convinced a grand jury to indict Adrian Peterson two days before the Pats-Vikings game. This week he's managed to get Maurice Jones-Drew thrown in the slammer for jaywalking.


New Orleans 33, Minnesota 16 -- BREAKING NEWS: Vikings, "after giving the situation additional thought," also deactivate Matt Cassel.


N.Y Giants 34, Houston 10 -- NFL warns Giants that if they don't start playing better, league will reschedule all their home games from 1pm to 1am.


Philadelphia 34, Washington 31 -- It's only a matter of time before it gets real ugly in Congress, when Democrats and Republicans start choosing sides in the RG III-Kirk Cousins quarterback controversy.


Dallas 31, St. Louis 7 -- These same two teams were also matched up in last year's Week 3 (won by Dallas by the aforementioned score), so instead of playing they're going to have a slumber party and watch the film of last year's game.


San Francisco 24, Arizona 10 -- Someday, the 49ers will lose a game and Jim Harbaugh's head will explode. Unfortunately, today won't be that day.


Miami 31, Kansas City 0 -- This bears watching as the season progresses: right now I'm on pace to pick the Chiefs to lose every game in 2014.


Seattle 24, Denver 13 -- You know it was a bad Super Bowl when there's a rematch the following season and the NFL schedules it for 1pm local time.


Pittsburgh 30, Carolina 14 -- This week's Useless Piece of Trivia: all five previous meetings between these two teams occurred Dec. 15 or later. Obviously, somebody complained.


Chicago 19, N.Y Jets 13 -- 2013's Hot Defensive Trend: a big, physical secondary like Seattle's to neutralize opposing receivers. 2014's Hot Defensive Trend: sit back and wait for Marty Mornhinweg to call a timeout.