Sunday, August 31, 2014

Taking My Boxes From The Warehouse

In the past I've written about me and my mysterious boxes. And this is going to start off just like one of those blogs, because a couple of weeks ago I got the call from Special Ops.

(Actually, let me back up for a sec. That's not exactly how it happened.)

A couple of weeks ago I got my "special assignment email" for the latest cycle, and there were some new instructions that were foreign to me. So I sent out an email asking "WTF?"

Then, I got the call from Special Ops.

"Phil, we have an 'extra-special new assignment' for you."

This 'extra-special new assignment' required a trip to The Warehouse to grab more boxes. Today, this is the story.

Because to get the boxes, I have to 1) punch in a secret code to enter The Warehouse, 2) unlock the sliding door to the first storage unit, and 3) grab the key that's in the first storage bin to unlock the sliding door to the second storage unit.

And here's the thing: I enter the first storage room and the key to the second storage unit IS NEVER WHERE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE. THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS. I look all over for the key, other places where someone might leave it, and I don't see it.

How the hell am I supposed to complete the extra-special assignment?

Screw it. There's actually no wall in between the two units -- only three cumbersome metal bookcases and more boxes (not the boxes I need, unfortunately, a different kind of box). I drag the bookcases out, kick some boxes aside, and, voila, I'm in the second unit.

I take 15 boxes and bring them to my car. And I leave everything askew. Because unfortunately, the next time I need boxes, I'm sure the key to the second unit will still be AWOL.

No wonder people ask if I'm a spy.


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