My Weekend Off

It's been more than a year since I had a full weekend off. (More specifically, April 2012, when I was jobless.) I've had two "weekends off" since then, but both times I had to work at my part-time spy job so they didn't really count.

This past weekend, though, I actually had both Saturday and Sunday off, with no espionage assignments.

A real, legit weekend off.

I wasn't sure what to do with myself. Here's what I ended up doing:

FRIDAY

5pm -- Pulled into the driveway.

5:06pm -- Naptime.

7:12pm -- Wake up. Flip on Wheel of Fortune. Try to decide what to do with the rest of my Friday night.

7:47pm -- After a pathetically long time coming to a decision, I decide to forgo a rerun of Shark Tank to head over to Barnes & Noble to do some writing, something I've neglected for awhile now.

9:53pm -- After being the only person left at B&N, headed back home. My low fuel light goes on. I ignore it.

10:47pm -- Watching the end of a boring episode of Dateline: NBC. It's sad when you pine for the days of To Catch a Predator.

11:53pm -- After watching the opening monologue of Leno, it's off to bed.

SATURDAY

5:26am -- Wake up in the middle of the night, frantically try to find my cellphone to make sure there were no emergencies at my store (the only way to reach me would be on my cell).

5:31am -- Find my phone, which was right next to my pillow. No crises.

8:06am -- Wake up again and can't get back to bed, defeating the whole purpose of the weekend off.

8:22am -- Laundry.

11am -- Back to Barnes & Noble. It's too hot to be in the house. Barnes & Noble has damn good AC. And I might be tempted to read a book or two while I'm there. (Also, more writing.) (Also also, I need to hit the gas station on the way since I ignored it last night.)

5:06pm -- Shower.

6pm -- Head out with friends, who curing the course of the night inform me that I should end every tweet with #boobs. (Lest you start sending hateful message to me, the curious part about this is that the friends in question are all female.)

SUNDAY

12:07am -- On the way home, hit up my old convenience store for some snacks. Say hi to the crew. Say "I don't know" when they ask if I will ever be back or if my new store will be a permanent assignment.

8:23am -- Wake up again. This is getting annoying.

9:14am -- More laundry.

11:30am -- Try to design a devastating offense that will help the Patriots offset the loss of Wes Welker and Aaron Hernandez.

12:13pm -- Focus on the Patriot defense instead.

1:37pm -- Complain about the heat some more.

2:11pm -- Back to B&N for more writing/cooling off.

6:53pm -- Home to watch Sunday night reruns on TV.

9:32pm -- Apologize to the world for totally blowing a weekend off with my general lameness. I'll try to do better in the future.