Things You Don't Want To Hear While Apartment-Hunting

1)
Landlord's phone rings.
Landlord: "Hello."
Voice on the other line: "Yes, this is the Massachusetts Department of revenue calling about your delinquent taxes."

2)
Me: "I wanted to see if your place is still available."
Landlord: "Trust me, you don't want to look for a place up here."

3)
Landlord: "You go down Route 8, then after the Cumberland Farms and McDonald's you tale a left and then a quick right and you're there."
Me: "Great! I'll meet you there in 15 minutes."
Landlord: "Oh, I'm not gonna be there. You're just gonna see it and call me if you like it."
Me: "How am I gonna get in to see the place if I don't have the keys."
Landlord: "Oh, don't worry, it's unlocked. I always leave the front door unlocked."

(Ironically, the front door was locked when I got there.)